i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
