After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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