Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
