Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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