grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize