I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize