you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
