how can u be prego again
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
FUCK WHALES
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
