I looked at my own cervix.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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