The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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