glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
