know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
