This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
