Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
last night I used snow as a chaser
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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