I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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