felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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