This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
