Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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