Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
