in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
