Ambien. No doubt about it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
