You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's shark week go big or go home
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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