And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
