my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
