mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
