bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
