I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All the doctor said was why
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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