it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
