after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
