and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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