i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize