Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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