At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize