I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
