Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
