Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
