I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
