Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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