Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
