walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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