Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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