you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
