it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
