Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize