SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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