Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
