i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize