the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
