You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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