used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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