ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i love accidental penises.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize