Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
