Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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