Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just want to make out with him forever
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
