No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
