Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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