Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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