That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize