is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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