I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
