Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
