butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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