haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
