Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
