i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
