I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize