Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize