His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize