Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
