I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
