He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
