Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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