so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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